10 easy ways to spot a ‘Rupert’ at conference

With the conference season now underway UNITElive wanted to remind delegates to beware of infiltrators like ‘Rupert’, the young Tory whose poor espionage skills landed him in hot water when he tried to spy on board a Labour party battle bus.

Young Rupert, who posed as a party activist named ‘Ed’, had only been a member of the Labour party for one day before he surreptitiously boarded a battle bus with young members and Labour MPs to snoop around and report back to his Tory paymasters.

So, to prepare for the dangers of lurking Rupert’s at conference, here are 10 things to look out for – so you can spot a Rupert should you come across one…

Rupert
1.    Is suspiciously unsure of his/her own first name
2.    Is likely to call themselves a popular Labour leader name, like ‘Ed’
3.    Has no idea of their surname
4.    Has been a member of the Labour party for less than 24 hours
5.    Carries a well-thumbed photo of David Cameron in their wallet
6.    Speaks in a goading way – trying to get you to divulge secrets
7.    Has an extremely unconvincing backstory i.e. none
8.    Unfamiliar with anyone in their claimed Constituency Labour Party
9.    Frequently refers to “Central Office” and “Political A-listers”
10.    And has a girlfriend called Samantha

Be careful out there, and remember, you never know who’s listening…